Monday, August 14, 2006

What do you do when you discover that someone who was once your best friend is not the person you thought they were? What do you do when it turns out that your friendship, like the better part of their life, was based on nothing but superficiality, lies and manipulation? How do you face them, when you don't like who they've become? How can you possibly help, when they are on a path to becoming the worst version of themselves? What do you say to someone when single mistakes in their past turn out to be a pattern of ongoing stupidity -- when clearly no lessons have been learned, no changes have been made, and there are no more excuses that could ever justify their actions? How can you believe anything they say ever again -- even an apology or a promise to try harder or do better -- when the most sacred trusts have been betrayed? And how do you deal when your heart hurts so deeply for the dozens of people whose lives they are destroying?

You know, 'cause I'm just wondering. Hypothetically, of course.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


In quite possibly the cleverest blog contest I've yet to see, Pauly D, capitalizing on the popularity of reality shows everywhere, has decided that today we will vote out one of yesterday's commenters. You should check it out. But you can't vote me off, because I have apparently won the coveted immunity card for casting my vote in the predetermined nth spot. So go on over and vote off one of my competitors.

Friday, August 04, 2006

What a girl needs...

Have you ever Googled yourself? It's always interesting to see where you show up on the Internet, and even more interesting to learn about your doppelgangers.

Try this variation, borrowed from Chronic Listaholic -- type "[Your Name] needs" and then list the top ten results. I included five extras, just because I thought they were funny.

Nicole needs:
  1. Nicole needs a family that can provide her with the accommodations she needs. Yes -- preferably a large house wherein I have a large bedroom with a large walk-in closet filled with a cute new wardrobe.
  2. Nicole needs a boob job. Again? I'm not going for the porn star look!
  3. Nicole needs to calm down. Absolutely. I think a massage would really help with this particular need.
  4. Nicole needs inspiration/encouragement. Indeed. I've been rather uninspired/unencouraged at work lately.
  5. Nicole needs a new page. If you mean a new home page for the new web site I have yet to publish, but for which I have owned the domain for the past two years -- then yes.
  6. Nicole needs to shut her mouth. That's a little rude! And besides, I'm technically not talking through my mouth at the moment.
  7. I think all Nicole needs are some boobs and then she'll look better. Seriously, what is it with you and boobs?!
  8. Nicole needs a new play. Would a musical count?
  9. Nicole's Needs: Exhibitionist & Voyeur This must be a more recent development resulting from my new favorite workout.
  10. Nicole needs a lot of help. Clearly.
  11. Nicole needs an intervention. Only where Girl Scout cookies (and ice cream) are concerned.
  12. Nicole needs to get to a photo shoot. That sounds like fun -- I could use a new headshot.
  13. Nicole needs friends. Don't we all need our friends?
  14. Nicole needs a man. Done.
  15. Nicole needs a babysitter. Only when I'm really drunk.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My Boyfriend the Comedian

Dave came with me on an overnight gig in Lake Arrowhead last week. And here's what he pulled out of his pocket when we checked in to the hotel:

Yes, it's a ring box. And no, there wasn't anything in it. He thinks it's funny to tease me like this, but I say it's just mean!*

*I should explain this a little more: In Vegas last month, he got very drunk and we got in a bit of a tiff over some of his antics. During his efforts to make up with me, he let it slip that he is planning to propose in the next month. So this is his way of messing with me to try to throw me off, because he wanted it to be a surprise. If I didn't know his intentions, it would certainly be a slap in the face.