Sunday, July 16, 2006

S is for

The Shape of a woman's body.

I've recently become addicted to Sheila Kelley's S Factor. I took my third class today, and already I feel stronger, leaner, more flexible, more feminine and more comfortable in my body.

Now don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying that stripping for money is something I plan to do now or in the future; it's not the point of the classes to teach women how to be strippers (although I imagine that you'd probably do just fine in that profession if this was the only training you ever received!). But a well-timed lap dance for my man is not out of the question, and now I'll have the skills to do it right. Plus, with the incredible workout you get with this program, I'll have the toned-up body and the resulting confidence to do it, too! I didn't realize that strippers are so athletic -- pole tricks are not easy and require a lot of strength, balance and grace. And, it takes a lot of practice to get your muscles strong and limber enough to control and slow your movement to the point that it drips in anticipation.

Anyway, it's really empowering and a much more interesting workout than the gym. So ladies, if there is a studio near you, I highly recommend checking out an intro class. Just beware of the repercussions -- I'm sore and bruised in very unusual places. And of course, Dave wants to install a pole in the house now.


Carl Spackler said...

i almost fell out of my chair when i read this post. if i take out a home equity line of credit and buy you that 65k cartier ring will you move to lovely Virginia to be with me? if not, do you have a twin sister?

Nicole said...

Carl: I don't have a twin, but I do have a younger sister. She's cute, but let's just say she's not exactly the sex kitten, pole-dancing type. Plus, she's married.

But if I ever decide to go into another line of work using my new skills, I'll be sure to let you know where my debut performance will be! ;-)