Saturday, January 22, 2005

What's in a Name?

The immortal genius of William Shakespeare tells us that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." After the drama that was yesterday, I, for one, hope this is a truth universally accepted by the opposite sex.

I don't think I'm alone when I say that when it comes to dating, it is either feast or famine. Why this is the case, I think I will never understand, but nonetheless, it is what it is. After a period of, shall we say, draught, I recently found myself dating not one, not even two, but SIX different men. Am I the only one hearing a refrain of "It's Raining Men" right now? I should preface this by explaining that I am not good at dating. Relationships, no problem. But dating, and all the games that come with that territory, are not among my favorite things. I am and always have been more of a one-man-at-a-time kind of woman. However, having learned several harsh lessons about putting all your proverbial eggs in one basket, I decided that perhaps I should give this dating-multiple-men-and-being-ever-so-careful-not-to-let-them-find-out-about-each-other thing a try. After all, men do it all the time, right? But that's a topic for another day.

First, a legend, of sorts. For the sake of simplicity, I shall, for now, refer to them as bachelors 1-6, so as to avoid any confusion over similar initials (keep reading, you'll understand). Bachelor #1 is my little drummer boy, who I met at a gig last May. Bachelor #2 is a friend from high school, who I recently reconnected with at our 10-year reunion. Bachelor #3 is a dentist who I met on a plane to South Carolina when going out to visit my family for Christmas. Bachelors #4, 5, and 6 I met online several weeks ago. (I know, but I haven't the time or energy to explain that one right now. Maybe another day.)

Knowing that I could never keep track of who was who with six men, I knew I had to quickly narrow my options. But having had only a few dates with each bachelor, and therefore only a fraction of the information needed to make such a decision, I knew it would not be an easy task. Honestly, I don't know how she does it on The Bachelorette! I had pretty much given up on #1, due to his insane touring schedule, so he was an easy first cut. #2 and I were just too fundamentally different. #3 was too hands-on on our first date, so he got 86ed pretty quickly. #4 was super sweet, but had been married and had a daughter. Those are not issues in and of themselves, but I found that he slipped too quickly into that place in a relationship where you're so comfortable that you don't have to talk to each other anymore. And in my world, you should still have plenty of things to talk about after three dates. So I was down to #5 and 6. That was certainly more manageable. Now I can switch to calling them JS and JT, respectively.

JS is wonderful. We have great conversations, we laugh a lot, we have similar interests, and I'm not going to lie - he's a great kisser. But JT is fantastic, too. We also have a lot of fun together, we have interesting conversations, and we have a lot in common. (I know you're wondering, and no, I haven't kissed him yet, but he's oh so pretty, I can only imagine [and believe me, I have imagined it from time to time] that it would be fabulous!) How is a girl to decide? I like them both equally as much, and it's really too early to be able to make an informed decision. But I don't like lying to either of them when they ask about my plans for tomorrow, the weekend, etc.

Wednesday, I went out with JS. Thursday with JT. Yesterday (Friday), JS again. Tonight will be JT again. As if I wasn't agonizing over the situation enough, re-enter Bachelor #1, also JT. (Do you see how it's about to get very confusing?!) Last night, as I was on my way home from work to get ready for my date with JS, JT(#1) called. He is back in town, and wanted to get together for dinner. I told him I already had dinner plans. He suggested coffee. I realize now that it was foolish, but at the time I couldn't think clearly, so I met him for coffee. And, just as I should have predicted, I was all twitterpated again. I even agreed to see him again before he heads back out on the road. Not much later, as I was getting ready (still for the date with JS), JT(#6) called. Needless to say, after having spoken with all three bachelors within about twenty minutes of each other, I was a little overwhelmed.

Now, keeping track of who did what and who said what is not terribly difficult with three. But here is the twist in this sick little reality show of mine - their names are James, Jamey, and Jim. Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of cosmic joke at my expense?

And so, dear friends, I apologize for seeming to fall off the face of the blogging earth, but surely now you can understand.


undercover celebrity said...

I am truly exhausted just by reading about your dating life.

But I am disappointed that you left out the best part of the story -- ladies and gentlemen of blog land: our little Star Inside is a true type A -- she has created an excel spreadsheet of the men she's dating in an attempt to keep the stories straight.

I think when Microsoft Office becomes an integral part of your dating life that is one HUGE flashing red light. Please step away from the men. (ok, you can keep one) -- I'm voting that you keep JS, so the EVER SO BEAUTIFUL JT (#2) remains available.

...unless, of course, you'd be willing to share JT2... in that case, I'd like for you to continue dating him -- you know, keep it in the family.

Poka Bean said...

WHOA! My head is spinning. Sounds like mind-boggling fun, though! Best of luck with all your J-men but more importantly, is the spreadsheet thing really true??

Nicole said...

Yes, Poka, I regret to inform you and the rest of the folks in blog land that I do, indeed, have a spreadsheet. When there were six, I relied on it heavily to ensure that my reason for being busy Friday night (or whenever) was consistent, and to save me from mixing up one J with the others, e.g., number of siblings, where they are from, what they do for a living, etc.

But now there are only two (let's be honest, JT#1 is not a viable option), and so the spreadsheet has turned into more of a fact sheet. Essentials, really, that I don't want to forget. Like birthdays, first date, first kiss, favorite things, etc.

Like I said, the one-man-at-a-time thing is much more my style. I'll get there soon. At least before Valentine's Day!